she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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