Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
