i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
