I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I would ride that face into the sunset
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
