Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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