OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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