OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
