I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
