Me. At least after what I've been through.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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