Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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