I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
