I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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