This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
