Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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