I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's shark week go big or go home
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
