the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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