Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
