Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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