The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
