at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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