HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
