Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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