and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nicole vs. Life
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
