I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
