covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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