Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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