nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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