You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
