i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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