Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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