I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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