The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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