If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
