I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
