Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
