its not stalking. its research.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
