You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You can't special order awesome
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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