I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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