I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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