Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
