This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
