Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
