i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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