Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
