I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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