I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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