i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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