I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
