And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
