If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
