Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
