I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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