So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
