I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
they need to just BURY HIM!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
