We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
