Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
